Distinction #9

Healthy Selfishness vs Harmful Selfishness

Mother Theresa herself said she was selfish as she loved and enjoyed taking care of the poor and sick children in Calcutta. That can be described as healthy selfishness because it includes the good of others.

On occasion, we may be selfish to protect ourselves from some destructive force at work in another individual or a situation.

Mostly, we are selfish for our own benefit just to cater to our fears and that type can be described as harmful selfishness because it focuses on our separatedness from others. It is good neither for us as it strengthens our fears, nor for others because we withhold loving behavior away from them.

No one is ever truly selfish, there are only people who behave selfishly out of fear!

Distinction # 8

Closed Surrender  vs  Open Surrender 

To surrender passively to a situation simply because we assume we are powerless in dealing with it implies defeat and lethargy. It is a mind decision to give up and shut down which makes us feel stuck somewhere with no exit in sight. It is a form of passive inner resistance. It is not true surrender. It is resignation. In this way of handling a situation, we are left with no choice.

To surrender to what is in the moment so we can move on and take action is an inner surrender whereby we let go of inner resistance.  It comes from the wisdom of knowing how to yield rather than opposing the flow of life. Thus, we can keep our options open for the next moment and take action towards a better situation if we so choose. In this way of handling a situation, we still have choices.

Distinction # 7
Detachment vs Non-attachment

Easy to confuse the two, yet they are almost opposite!
Being detached is a form of disconnect around what we are detached from, it is a form of indifference.
Non attachment to things or outcomes, on the other end,  is a mindful choice which does not prevent us from appreciating, understanding and fully embracing life. It is a form of reverence for what is.

Distinction # 6

Zoning Out and Zoning Out :)

Hi Everyone!
After my last entry, I started observing when I was zoning out and when I was zoning in and realized how affected we are by what we zone out on because we tend to merge with it. So it seems to me that zoning out can be a  beneficial thing or a dangerous thing depending on what we zone out on. For instance, zoning out on a violent movie or depressing daily news will have a different effect on our energy than zoning out on a sunset or a peaceful nature scene.
So although I said that both zoning out or zoning in could be beneficial in different ways, I wanted to offer clarification and recommendation to be careful what you zone out on!:)

Distinction # 5

Zoning In vs Zoning Out

As I am enjoying my vacation on Cape Cod, it is also a great opportunity to ponder and observe myself in different states. I noticed that sometimes, I zone out in awe of a beautiful scenery, merging with the peace of a solitary pond, or simply turning into a turtle soaking up the sun after a good swim. I become the pond, the trees, the lilies or the turtle. I become one with nature and enjoy the state of no-thinking which comes with it. In so doing, it seems I am going back to a more primitive,  pre-thinking state.

At other times, I sit in meditation on a rock by the water and I zone in observing my thoughts passing by and consciously letting them go, to go back to the peaceful center of no-thinking. The experience of peace I get to may feel the same as when I zone out but there is a major difference, I am going beyond my habitual thinking patterns to reach a place of higher consciousness beyond thought itself.

Zoning Out, we get a break from too much thinking but we do not change how we handle the challenges of life once we get back to it.

Zoning In, we strengthen our ability to handle life challenges . When we witness our thinking while it is happening, we distance ourselves from it while strengthening a higher level of consciousness in ourselves. The more we do this, the more we can benefit from the wisdom of this higher level of consciousness in our everyday decisions and actions.

So although zoning out and zoning in are both great ways to get a break from this addiction to over-thinking we all have; to grow in practical consciousness, we want to make sure we include zoning in as a practice!

Distinction # 4

Co-dependent vs Co-committed

This distinction comes in a lot when talking about relationships, not just romantic ones. We all inter-are as humans living in a society,  and this type of co-dependence is unavoidable and an opportunity to learning and growing together.
However, intensely co-dependent relationships tend to prevent us from being all we can be. In this type of relationships, partners cater to each others neurosis, strengthening them in the process.
Deeply co-committed relationships on the other end help us thrive towards the best we can be. In this type of relationships, partners support each other to overcome their challenges. They are comfortable attending to their goals separately while enjoying each other every time they come together after being apart. They enriched the couple by what they do away from each other and by learning and growing individually.

The Alexander technique promotes healthy relationships with others by promoting a healthy relationship with ourselves through Self-Awareness, Mental and Physical Non-Grasping and the Practice of Being or coming back to the Present Moment.

Living Body-Wisdom with Cecile Raynor: One distinction came up today so I decided to post...

Living Body-Wisdom with Cecile Raynor: One distinction came up today so I decided to post...: One distinction came up today so I decided to post it on my blog. Distinction #3 Going with the Flow of what? We often justify doing wh...